Com'st' Thou To Beard Me In Denmark?: Facial Hair And The Tragedy Of Hamlet

Continuing in the mission of shining the light of day on EVERY half passable piece I ever wrote, here's one I did for an English class all the way back in 1998:

Insanity is a very hard label to pin on someone; no two people can totally agree on what its parameters are. Moreover, someone can be insane in one aspect yet totally sane in others -- what than is this person, mad or not? Thus, it is of course impossible to with any certainty decide whether or not Hamlet, the main character of William Shakespeare’s famous The Tragedy of Hamlet, Prince of Denmark is mad. A character as complex as Hamlet’s would be difficult to correctly diagnose in a person-to-person analysis, let alone through the filter of a play written about him.

However, impossible to ascertain or not, it is my contention that Hamlet did indeed go mad, or at least delusional, for a short period of time, as the result of sudden and extreme psychological stress in his life. Why do I feel that this is the case? For numerous reasons, as all supported throughout the text.

For one, Hamlet’s mood changes abruptly throughout the course of the play. His behavior throughout the play, especially towards Ophelia, is exceptionally erratic. He claims to be the only one who truly loved Ophelia, during the fight with Laertes in her grave (I.ii.216-218), but he tells Ophelia herself that he never loved her, when she returns his letters (II.iii.116). Also, on the subject of the fight with Laertes in the grave, Hamlet instigates the fight because Laertes said none loved Ophelia more than he, which Hamlet disagreed with. As quantitative love is a purely subjective matter, this is hardly grounds for a quarrel, at least not in the judgment of a sane person. But in my opinion the strongest evidence of Hamlet’s growing insanity is in Act III, scene iv. First, in what he later admits to be a state of madness, (V.ii.197) he kills Polonius, thinking him to be the King Claudius, and when he discovers his mistake, shows little remorse. Even worse, while conversing with his mother, he sees again the vision of his father’s ghost. Now, every other time the ghost has appeared, others have seen it as well (I.i, I.iv). However, in his mother’s room, he is the only one to see it. Is it possible that Hamlet is by this point mad, and is merely hallucinating the apparition? In of itself, this instance could be interpreted numerous ways. But when weighed with other evidence, this is indeed clear proof of Hamlet’s derangement.

So, Hamlet is insane, if only temporarily. Why than is he insane? Numerous reasons can be cited as possible cause. The sudden death of his beloved father, King Hamlet, followed soon after by the marriage of his mother to his uncle. This makes Hamlet uncomfortable, and his only escape, his school at Wittenberg, is denied him. Which is followed soon after by the appearance of his father’s ghost, who tells Hamlet of the treachery surrounding the King’s death, and sets Hamlet on his course of vengeance, which makes Hamlet paranoid and trusting of no one. This in turn makes Hamlet decide to pretend to be mad, in an effort to properly exercise his revenge; and when one acts mad, one often finds themselves becoming that which they pretend to be. Hamlet’s girlfriend Ophelia suddenly spurning and ignoring him must have been another blow to his psyche as well. Finally, on top of all of this, there is the threat of war with Norway.

I believe these elements all were indeed factors in Hamlet’s temporary loss of reason. However, I do not believe that even this series of traumatic events could have felled the mind of a man as grounded as Hamlet were it not for some other, deeper factor. And that factor is this: facial hair. I believe that Hamlet the play is infused with the subtext of Hamlet’s desire for a better beard.

That Hamlet thinks beards are an important aspect of a man’s character is undeniable. In his soliloquy in Act II, scene ii, lines 474-533, in which he berates himself for his inability to express his emotion, he says "Am I a coward? Who calls me villain? … Plucks off my beard and blows it in my face? (lines 497-499)" The implication here is that his beard is being plucked, metaphorically, because his cowardice makes him unworthy of having a beard. Plus, when Polonius demonstrates cretinous behavior by complaining about they player’s speech in the same scene (line 434), Hamlet responds by saying "It shall to the barber's, with your beard." In other words, cretins such as Polonius aren’t worthy of their beards.

Looking closer, we see Hamlet as a man obsessed with beards. When told of his father’s ghost’s appearance, practically the first question he asks about the ghost is "His beard was grizzled- no? (I.ii.240)" He obviously had great veneration for his father, and the good king’s beard, surely a majestic and regal one. When King Hamlet died, there was an immense beard gap in Elsinore, one hardly filled by the loathsome Claudius or the youthful Hamlet. Thus, the greatest beard in Elsinore now unfortunately goes to the King’s counselor, Polonius, a "tedious old fool" in Hamlet’s estimation (II.ii.211). When the ghost appears to him, it only reminds Hamlet that a great beard is gone, and the present King’s is no match, nor is Hamlet’s. This unsettles Hamlet to the point where all he can think about is beards. He thinks that Ophelia is spurning him because of his beard’s inferiority to her father Polonius’s, in of itself an upsetting notion. Also, in his talk with his mother (III.iv), Hamlet shows his mother pictures of the brothers Hamlet and Claudius. Why else but to compare King Hamlet’s regal beard, "A sable silver'd (I.ii.241)," with Claudius’s lesser one, "..like a mildewed ear… (III.iv.64)."

Amid all the other stress in his life to this date, the pressure to have a good beard and live up to his father’s is great. He cracks under the stress. Why would he pretend to be insane to find his father’s killer? How would that help? No, he tells Horatio that he is going to feign an "antic disposition, (I.iv.172)" and convinces himself that he is merely pretending to be mad, to cover up for the fact that he obviously is going insane from the stress to grow a better beard than he is currently able to. Horatio notices it early on, referring to Hamlet as speaking "wild and whirling words (I.v.133)." In pretending to be mad, Hamlet slowly does go mad, culminating in the murder of Polonius. However, Hamlet becomes more or less totally sane again after his return from England — it follows that with Polonius dead, Hamlet has the best beard in Elsinore, thus making him able to live up to his father’s bearded legacy. The stress to have the best beard has been lifted off of Hamlet’s over-burdened shoulders, and his reason returns.

Alas, it is too late for Hamlet. By the time his much-vaunted bearded status comes, he is already soon to be a victim of the plot machinery his madness helped set in motion. He dies, and in his dying breath tells Horatio that the crown is to go to the Norwegian Prince Fortinbras. Thus, Fortinbras must have had a pretty impressive beard as well, which Fortinbras himself remarks upon, citing it as his right to the throne of Denmark. "I have some rights of memory in this kingdom, Which now to claim my vantage doth invite me (V.ii.354-355)."

The beard has long been associated with masculinity; as only the males of a species can achieve one. The pressure in a male-dominated society to prove one’s manhood is great indeed. However, besides Hamlet I can think of no great works of literature in which the fatal flaw of weak facial hair plays so central of a role.