Tricksy

"Actually, caves are a good thing."

"Unless they have teeth and they eat you up."

"Like THAT ever happens..."

"Sure, what do you think happened to your brother Samuel?"

"I don't have a brother Samuel!"

"Oh... I guess your parents haven't told you yet. They must think you're too young still. You had another brother. Except he wandered into a cave in Baltimore and it had teeth and it ate him."

"There are no caves in Baltimore!"

"Well not anymore, not after we blew up the one that ate your brother!"

The Chilling Despair Of Pizza

This is the most depressing frozen pizza section I've ever seen in a grocery store. It's like three freezer doors wide, and exclusively DiGiornio and Red Baron. Fuck man, I've been in drug stores with better frozen pizza selections. And half these pizzas? Are only half pizza, and then come packed with "dippin' sticks" or "boneless wyngz" -- about which the less said (or thought) the better. Jesus wept, but if he was shopping for a frozen pizza with me today he'd probably weep again. The big baby.