Monday, April 11, 2011

The Political Spectrum Is A Polite Fiction

I always get very suspicious when people say "liberal this" or "conservative that" when both positions, politically and philosophically, are utterly fucking retarded. Liberals say everyone should be free to choose, but then they want to make you wear a bike helmet. Conservatives say they want less government, until gays want to get married, then they want laws against it. I don't think either side actually believes what they claim they believe. I think it is ancient primate clique-ish behavior with a new paint job so we can pretend we're not still chimps throwing shit at one another. So we can pretend we're civilized. I swear to god anarchy sounds better and better every day.

I Don't Trust Religion

I don't trust religion, in the sense of "moral and spiritual codes imposed on me by other people." I don't trust people, and I don't trust the codes they follow and are attempting to impose on me. I don't trust that they have any knowledge of a higher power or a greater force or an advanced intelligence, and I certainly don't trust that the codes that they follow and are attempting to impose on me are derived from these higher powers or greater forces or advanced intelligences.

As near as I can tell the chief function of religion is to sever the individual from their own internal and personal sense of spirituality and replace it with mechanical codes of behavior and the old primate dominance-submission games, the better to turn a never-ending series of wild, anarchic, more-unique-than-snowflakes individuals into drones and interchangeable parts -- insects, essentially -- the better to set them in motion as the great machine Society.

But we are not insects. We are individuals. I don't trust any religion that is not personal.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Me And Food

My mom became diabetic when I was like five or so, so all of a sudden
all the house foods became super boring. Like, Honey Nut Cheerios was the wildest cereal we ever got. Oh, and Cinnamon Life -- both of which I like, but I never got to have the kids-eating-awful-kid-cereal-when-they're-kids experience. We got like Total and shit. And Common Sense Oat Bran, which looked and tasted like twigs from the backyard. Mmmmmmm. Then I got put on the intestinal colic diet, and then on the low cholesterol diet, and each time the food got even more boring. I reacted by, the moment I hit 18 and started buying my own food, descending into a never-ending spiral of beef jerky and Froot Loops.

I did it in reverse: everyone else got to eat nasty disgusting but fun foods when they were kids, then they grow up and start going on the Atkins diet or whatever. I on the other hand had a very healthy childhood, but will spend the rest of my life eating junk. Which will undoubtedly shorten "the rest of my life," but fuck it, who wants to eat fucking Total cereal? And drink diet soda? When I go diabetic, I will lapse peacefully into a coma... PULL THE PLUG!

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

RETAIL (a quick sociological breakdown)

Fucking retail. It pays like four bucks an hour and is thankless work for people who get treated as sub-human by helpless and rude people all day. So, the only kind of workers it gets are:

A) high school kids on their way to (maybe) something better

B) people who have some talent or skill or intelligence but are held back by personal demons or poor life choices or some form of mental or emotional illness

C) utter fucking morons that literally can't do anything else EVEN MORE than they can't do retail competently.

And that's it.