Saturday, August 28, 2010

God Grows Up: An Interpretation Of The Judeo-Christian Mystery God Based On Scripture And Armchair Psychology

When you read the Old Testament God is a whiny spoiled brat demanding that His toys give Him attention and follow His every rule, and if He's not happy with the way it turns out He will just flood it out and make new toys.

Then by the time of the New Testament, God is a teenager. He gets all angsty, comes to Earth as a dude with long hair, preaches about love and tolerance like any idealistic adolescent would, but at the same time He gets mad and starts knocking over the money-changer's tables. He curses a fig tree. Tantrums. Then his toys kill Him, acting out His teenage emo self-destructive fantasies.

Today God is an adult, all grown up, and he's finally realized that the only thing he can do with us is leave us alone and let us find our own path. That's how come God directly interfered in human affairs seemingly every five minutes in the Old Testament, then He came to Earth manifested as a human in the New Testament, and now no one has heard from him since. Except for the occasional odd-ball. Or schizophrenic.

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