Optimus Prime Died For Your Sins

(I just went out and picked up the 25th anniversary re-release of the G1, original, Optimus Prime. Doing thus I came one step closer to re-claiming my lost childhood. In honor of this happy occasion here is one of my most popular essays, also available in my book, If You Don't Give Me Heaven. Originally written sometime in 2005.)

I cried when Optimus Prime died.

As a child I had already had to accept that they killed Jesus and that they killed John Lennon – in fact, to look around the world it seemed like most everyone was crazy and people kept killing each other right and left. Back then we still lived under the bombscare and it even seemed like somebody might kill us all some day soon. When Grandpa died I numbly came to terms with it though the whole concept of death seemed very unfair. Already I began to understand that one day I too would die – it was in the fine print of this contract that I couldn’t quite recall signing. But all of that was the real world. The world of cartoons, the world of children’s stories, was a sacrosanct place where ugly realities like death weren’t supposed to tread. Then Optimus Prime died. It was as if one day Elmer Fudd killed Bugs Bunny or the Big Bad Wolf ate Little Red Riding Hood. It wasn’t supposed to happen. And certainly not to Optimus Prime.

Optimus Prime was an inspirational figure in my youth. Leader of the heroic Autobots, his motto was “Freedom is the right of all sentient beings.” It said so right on the back of his box. And who could disagree with that? Or rather, since it seemed the world was full of crazy people intent on depriving each other of basic freedoms, who should disagree with that? More to the point, Optimus Prime was willing to fight to preserve and protect that freedom. He was willing to die for it.

While other Transformers’ vehicle modes were sleek and sexy -- race cars, jet fighters and the like; Optimus Prime transformed into that most utilitarian of vehicles; the tractor trailer. As John Lennon (another dead hero) once sang, “A working class hero is something to be” and a tractor trailer is nothing if not working class. He represented the values most important for a leader; a sense of self-sacrifice, undying compassion and a respect for life in all of its forms; values hard to find in actual world leaders then or now. Optimus Prime didn’t command his war against the Decepticons from some “undisclosed location,” sending young ones off to die to make him and his cronies richer. He was always to be found at the front lines of the action, doing his best to keep the collateral damage down and protecting his own. Though born millions of years before Christ on a faraway world his actions reflected the teachings and values of Jesus more than many so-called “Christian” leaders.

So I suppose it shouldn’t be too surprising that they killed him. I mean, they killed Socrates, they killed Gandhi and they killed Martin Luther King. The older, wiser and more cynical Noel isn’t surprised that they killed Optimus Prime too. If being a compassionate and selfless leader was easy then our history wouldn’t be so filled with criminals, robber barons and predators sitting on thrones or in Oval Offices and living well off of the suffering of the multitude. It must be that there’s a price to pay for sticking up for principles. The older, wiser and more cynical Noel understands this well.

But inside me still is the child who doesn’t understand this, in tears because it doesn’t seem fair that the world is full of pain and death. I wish I could speak to that child, to tell him that it will all be okay. That they bring Optimus Prime back and in the end we all benefit because of those who, like him, have been willing to be sacrificed. That one day the world will be more like Lennon’s “Imagine” and less like a cruel and pointless joke. I wish I could wipe away his tears and comfort him.

But I cannot find the words.