STORE SCUM

To me "customer" is a bad word. If I could go the rest of my life without having to wait while some soccer mom haggles over the price while her annoying brood hold a contest to see who can scream the loudest and most blood-curdling -- If I could go the rest of my life without waiting for some inconsiderate asshole to finish balancing their checkbook at the checkout line -- If I could go the rest of my life without waiting for some ancient person to finish buying a year's worth of cat food with seemingly nothing but coupons -- If I could go the rest of my life without having to squeeze around some fat fuck who left their cart in the MIDDLE of the GODDAMN AISLE -- but I can't.