On Current Events

I was going to write about how disappointed I was that Obama caved and produced his birth certificate. Stooping to enter an argument that is so ridiculous with people that dumb, even when you win, you lose. But before I could get off my procastination platform the news overtook my social commentary. We killed Osama bin Laden!

And by we, I mean, the United States military. Personally I had nothing to do with it. But still, what a win! Except, wait, the war's still going on. But anyway, forget that for a moment. What a great day to be an American! That man was a monster and committed atrocities. Except, oh, yeah, we armed and funded and trained him and set him loose on the world. But besides that, isn't it a proud moment that we... well, we could have brought him into custody and held him on trial for war crimes or whatever, and then executed him like what happened to Saddam Hussein. But instead we shot him in the head and dumped him in the ocean. Because THAT isn't exactly the same way they killed Jason Voorhees for like ten movies. So probably Osama is dead now. We identified him by DNA evidence. And then dumped him in the ocean.

So that in a few months, or whenever, when they need a bogeyman to keep the war going and fuel the military-industrial complex's fat coffers, they can trot Osama out again and claim he wasn't actually --

(Sounds of forced entry, scuffle and struggle.)

-- like I was saying, the royal wedding. Wasn't it like a REAL-LIFE FAIRY TALE?