Fuck Columbus. The dude deserves zero accolades. ZERO! Leave it to the fucking Catholics to ram this asshole down everyone's throats, if I may mix metaphors for a moment.
I mean, everything they teach you about this guy is a lie. It's not that he was the only one that thought the world was round and everyone else thought it was flat... EVERYONE KNEW THE WORLD WAS ROUND! Since like the ancient Greeks! And okay, some people probably still thought it was flat, so what? Some people today do too -- look up the "Flat Earth Society" and see what I mean.
What Columbus thought, and what he was terribly wrong about, was that the Earth was much smaller than it was -- and being so small, that it was therefore feasible to sail ALL THE WAY AROUND THE GLOBE to get to Asia. Which, it was not. Everyone said, "No, don't do it, the Earth's bigger than you think, you'll get lost in the huge ocean." And indeed, if he hadn't hit this general landmass -- WHOLLY BY LUCK -- he would probably still be floating around somewhere with the Niña, the Pinta, and the Santa fucking María.
So the guy has one bright idea that he is completely wrong about, cons the one royal family who will listen to his madness into giving him ships, stumbles by dumb luck across the New World -- and immediately? Immediately? HE BEGINS WIPING OUT AND ENSLAVING THE LOCAL POPULATION. Like, I'm not even sure he waited until the next day.
This man, this Christopher Columbus, did NOTHING that deserves merit and much that deserves scorn, or at least to be seen as an example of what NOT to do. Eat a dick, Columbus.
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