Sunday, October 26, 2008

The Marriage Essay

"What are they complaining about? I just wish that the next time my girlfriend asks me when I'm going to put the ring on her I could say, 'I'd love to, honey, but you know it's against the law..."
- from some comedy album Doug played me

I don't think that the government should be able to say whether or not gay people can get married for the very simple reason that I don't believe that government should be able to say anything at all about marriage. That's not the government's place. It'd be like legislating on hair-cuts. Marriage is an entirely personal thing. Or, rather, marriage is actually an archaic institution that dates back to the days when people were considered property, but if we are going to keep it relevant in these so-called modern times it should be an entirely personal matter and completely up to the discretion and choice of the individuals involved. Same sex, different-sex, as many spouses as you want, whatever. It's a personal matter.

Now, my personal opinion on this personal matter is that marriage is for tools. I don't mean to imply that if you get married, you're a tool. I will come directly out and say that if you get married, you're a tool. Sorry. But that's just my opinion, and seemingly my opinion alone. I would hate to see it made into a law. Wouldn't you? Probably. You tool. I'm getting sidetracked again. My point is that this is two thousand and eight, for fuck's sake. Why is gay people getting married even an issue? Civilization as we know it is teetering on the brink of collapse, the center cannot hold and the barbarians are due at the gates. This is what we have to devote our time to? How about rocket ships?

Let me say it again, rocket ships. We should be building giant rocket ships so I can get on one and leave all you idiots behind. Or super-heroes. Wouldn't the world be cooler if we had super-heroes? All I'm saying is, think about it.

No comments: