The Logic In My Dreams

"I don't understand the logic in my dreams."
- Ice Cube
In my dreams, last night, electrical revulsion. Years of buried pain and betrayal and sadness as visceral physical response. It was... cleansing. Sharpened my focus. When I awoke I marveled at how real this physical sensation had been in the dream; abstract intellectual observation quickly writing over concrete emotional feeling.

This is how its been the last few years. In my dreams there is something speaking to me. One night it is these mindless zombies (not zombies in the rotting George Romero sense, zombies in the A.I. thought experiment sense) that are coming toward me; one has replaced my sister. I scream, "Are you me?" Crypto-solipsism and dream logic combined.

Another dream; I am in a horror movie. Wander off from main cast, knowing the killer will come for me. In bleak hotel hall, dimly flourescent lit. I start yelling to whoever, "Okay, I'm tired of this movie now. I want to go home!"

The rushing roar is all around me; somewhere between tidal baptism and nitrous oxide. I am floating in black static and it is roaring. "Are you with me, God? Please don't leave me. Don't leave me God."

I look out my window into the woods (that no longer exist) and I see ambulances in the distance, emergency vehicles. A soldier appears outside my window and tells me the dead have started coming back to life.

The planets are right outside my kitchen window; large on the horizon and clustered like together like freshly-set up billiard balls. Marc and I go outside and the house is adrift in space. I point to the planets, larger and more looming than before and I say to him, ever the guru, "Those are us too -- consciousness manifesting itself in unconscious forms." I wake up and I realize that this applies both to my dream planets and to the planets that really are. More crypto-solipsism.